El Presidente, or how I lost faith in Pineapple Juice

Pineapple is, by far, the greatest fruit on Earth. It’s healthy, tangy, and can be doused in syrup that 1) ups the sugary taste but 2) still communicates clean eating. So, when I started my chemistry projects with liquor, I thought pineapple juice would be a consistent fave.

The first step was actually making pineapple juice. To someone like me, who considers Honey Nut Cheerios a complex dish, slicing open that armored monster can be daunting. However, through the miracle of Youtube, I learned the ancient secrets of pineapple slicing. Behold:

Look at her hack that beast! To be honest, the process was very easy. At the end of it, I had a good tupperware container full of delicious, fresh juice. And then my problems began….

I can’t remember the first pineapple cocktails I made, which is sad but also telling. No standouts. Then, today, I read an article about how freshly squeezed juice is basically useless after a few days. Doubt spiral. I quickly ran to my computer to find potential pineapple cocktails so all my slicing didn’t go to waste. I stumbled upon the El Presidente, which is very simple (according to about.com):

2 ounces light rum
1/2 ounce fresh lime juice
1/2 ounce pineapple juice
Dash of grenadine

For the rum, I used some Owney’s NYC that was sent to me by mistake – long story. Shake shake shake and you have a cocktail. Here’s a pretty picture that looks vaguely like the one I made:

Verdict: 1 out of 4. Blech city. The rum sliced through any and the grenadine was a non-factor. I was really let down by this drink. However, upon googling it, I found several takes on the drink that seem more complex and must be better. Here’s an interesting one on Imbibe magazine (which is the best magazine since Boys Life):

1½ oz. rich white rum

1½ oz. Dolin Vermouth Blanc (Martini & Rossi or Cinzano Bianco are fine substitutes)

1 barspoon orange Curaçao or Grand Marnier
½ barspoon real grenadine
Thinly cut orange peel
Tools: barspoon, mixing glass, strainer
Glass: cocktail
Garnish: maraschino cherry (optional)

Yeah that sounds amazing, but I’d have to hit a liquor store before I shoot for the stars. On to the next one!